When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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