I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's rum buckets o'clock
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
