he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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