Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
