Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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