first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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