Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
