He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
