Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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