If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
