and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
