Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The beer is more important than you right now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
