have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
