your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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