Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
