I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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