I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
