Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
