Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
