Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
