Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
