do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
