i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
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