he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
