i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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