Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
