I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
