Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
