Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
