We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
