So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we're making bets on your personal life
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
