One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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