yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Randomize
