i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
