ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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