He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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