i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
