What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
