The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize