what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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