i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
