Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
