despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
His nipple licking is glorious
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