i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
