Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
