How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the day after is always just damage control
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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