the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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