You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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