walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
