Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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