I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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