I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
are you so shy because you have an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize