just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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