3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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