We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
