I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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