she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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