what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
