Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
