i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
