I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
