i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
