he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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