Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
