I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
