lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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