If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
