I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
