She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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