I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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