ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize