it wasn't lemon gatorade
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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