I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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