We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
