I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize