who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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